SPECIAL EDITION
RESPONSES |
Dear CCS Alumni and Friends, the Special Edition provoked a lot of response. I hope this discussion will somehow help. We cannot change the past but we can improve the future.
Name withheld by
request Name withheld
by request S Linda Finning Kelley 1971 This makes me rather sad. I'm sad for the person that can't put the past in the past. We ALL have things that happened to us as young adults or as children that are not that pleasant. We can choose to dwell on those things, or we can honor them for making us the stronger people that we are today. We can choose to carry a grudge or to forgive and free ourselves of the negative energy that comes with holding onto them. As for people asking you, "What do you do?", I can assure you that 99 times out of 100 it is just a conversation starter and not meant to pass judgment on anyone. Who cares if you were the CEO of a major company or a doctor or you simply lived at home in your parents basement for thirty years while looking after your parents. Seriously, who cares? The main thing is.. did you live a happy life. As we grow up and older the hope is that we get wiser and learn that each of us has value. The all class reunion is always on the weekend that we celebrate my husband’s birthday. My grandchildren would not understand if they didn't get to celebrate with their papa. That is the only reason you haven't seen my smiling face. 😉 I'm proud to have grown up in Cambridge. I'm proud to have graduated from Cambridge Central. I'm in awe of the things that are available to the students that are going there today and thankful that my nieces and nephews have had the same opportunities to grown up in a community that truly cares about their young people. Thank you, for all you do. One last thing: I never noticed that there were cliques in our class. Perhaps we were unique in that way. Maybe I was just oblivious to it
Name withheld by request "What we have to remember is that our emotional maturity back then was not as fully developed as it later would become." Also "bring our past immature selves up to the level of our improved adult versions… psychologists might call it therapeutic." I really never felt that my status was being questioned but these words were good also … "So it behooves us when we attend alumni gatherings to focus on the things that bring us together rather than on “status” items." This sentence says it all -- "And let's remember… cancer, dementia, and old age put class ladders on their sides dumping all of us on the ground. Death plays no favorites.. and everyone appreciates a warm hug, hello, and how are you, while we still have warm blood circulating through our lungs." I would just like to add that I have not felt any of the status separation or whatever at the all school reunions even though I do remember on occasions when I was younger and "immature" those feelings of
Ken Gottry, Class
of 1968 Let me share 3 positives that I have experienced being part of the CCS Alumni and attending the reunions
I am a naturally positive person but I do realize that I'm not going to like every alumni and they're not all going to like me. There are some folks from my class that choose not to engage in reunion activities. That's fine. It's not for everyone. But, for me, I consider it a successful Reunion if at the end of the weekend, I can look back on one person, one conversation, that would not otherwise have happened were it not for the Alumni Association. Sappy, I know, but that's who I am. As for the face-flushing memories, I still have them. I have seen some of those folks over the years, we chatted, maybe not as friends, but definitely as people who grew up in a similar environment. Jeff Woodward, Class of 1972 I hurt for the person who had a bad experience at Reunion. I’ve experienced the same thing at my college reunions, and am reticent to attend as a result—my college friends don’t attend reunion, so I don’t know many people there, and end up standing around while other alums are engaged with their friends who did show up. It’s not fun. I haven’t had that experience at the CCS reunions. I think partly because I was born and grew up in Cambridge, the people in our 1972 graduation class are basically the same group as our 1960 kindergarten class. All 76 of us knew each other, and those, like Mike Brown, who joined our class along the way, were just as important. So when I go to a reunion now, I look forward to catching up with everyone. I understand that there are some good high school friends who don’t enjoy coming to reunion because it’s not what their thing, and I’ll catch up with them in another setting. But for those who do attend, it is such a gift to be able to see them, hear how they’re doing, look at pictures of their grandchildren, and share a cold beer together. Joel Collamer I wish that I had a magic bullet for solving this problem. All the best and hope you have an enjoyable, relaxing Labor Day.
Thank you for your responses. Some opinions were voiced to me privately with requests not to publish. I will say that these emails all express sadness, concern and a sincere hope that all CCS Alumni could come together in friendliness and peace. I also want to thank all who had such kind and encouraging words for me personally. I do not include them in the responses but I am gratefully and appreciative of your support!!!! PAGE 2 SPECIAL EDITION RESPONSES
Jane Wright
So , fellow CCSers,
take heart, attend your reunions and the all class reunion, and
enjoy the present.
NAME HELD BY REQUEST
Ken
pretty much summed up my experiences in Cambridge without toilet
bowl diving but I did get clobbered fairly severely more than
once by significantly older kids and a couple of my classmates
as well. The reason - damned if I knew then and even less so
know. And yes I recall their names but at least one had his time
in hell and turned out outwardly at least into a decent person
from what I have heard. And like Ken I realized (and taught my
kids from their early ages} to accept not everyone I meet will
like me and I won't like everyone I meet. Dwell on it no, accept
it yes.
Ken's
observation about age gap, less the names - my list would be
different - is spot on. While I haven't spent any significant
time in town since the early 70s so I don't know the people or
events, how we react to people is very much age driven. Found it
funny while college that by my senior year Kennedy's "Ask not
what your country can do for you, as what you can do for your
country" was as alien to incoming freshmen as if it had been
translated into Swahili first. What we seek in any relationship
is a common ground. Cambridge is a good start
Having
moved from Cambridge before graduating from CCS, I did end up
going to three of my high school class reunions spread well
apart, the most recent being but a few years ago. What did I
find - at all three was old run-with-groups tended gather in old
familiar groups for catching up. And logically that makes sense
- if a person wants to jolly around with a bunch of unknowns,
book a berth on a cruise ship. In my case at our most recent
one, that proved impossible as I found that I am the last of my
run-withs so I had the option of standing by myself nursing a
slowly warming beer or finding others looking for the same train
car which proved relatively easy if one simply ignores known old
relationships. The fact that I hadn't been in touch with any in
my class in years, we were a lot like a barracks full of
draftees trying to find a top bunk and a person who heard of the
place "I" was from.
A lot
is expectations : If you expect everyone to rush over, grab your
hand and say "Welcome sinner, you are now saved" not gonna
happen, not the right place. And there is a kind of built in
embarrassment. I was in a college fraternity, graduated and
through life's circumstances / interventions and a double dose
or two of laxness on my part completely lost touch with the
whole brotherhood A few years back, reestablished contact, each
year since an All Years reunion has been held complete with
pictures galore published on the net and I am embarrassed : With
the exception of maybe three faces, I have no bloody idea who
any of those guys are and I lived with some those faces for four
years!! There is little more embarrassing in life than going up
to that total unrecognizable soul, ignoring their face, shaking
their hand while desperately trying to read their nametag stuck
on a place that social graces say guys should not spend time
staring at hoping against hope they are truly a stranger only to
find you spent three years sitting next to them in Mrs. Bell's
French class and in three other assorted classes every day for
all three years of high school because of where your names fell
alphabetically. Don't think it can't happen, it did. To me. A
sense of humor helps a whole lot.
As for
"What do you do?" question being a problem, it is an ice
breaker, not a third degree, an automatic put down. Absolutely
every question asked can be great entrance, get acquainted line
or an oh no, what have I done. All in how it is taken.
As to
why I haven't made it yet to an All Classes reunion in Cambridge
: Econ 101 - many, many plus miles between here & there
Shailer Evans -1956: I read all the comments from others so far. They are insightful. Without being overly redundant I would like to share mine. So much of our school experiences depended on where you came from, family, income, intellect, athletic ability, maturity, and a willingness to accept who you were in this context. My family was financially low class. Our heritage and values were middle class but the income was not enough to let me enjoy scout outings, dances etc. My father died when I was seven and I had no male role model- except for Scottie Laverty, our neighbor and scout master. No teacher ever encouraged me to be more than what they saw on the surface except the principal, Charles Bowler. I was immature to say the least. I was not a jock but loved baseball. I played one varsity game in my senior year. I was an awful student: how ironic that I became a teacher and held various leaderships positions. These days the girls might ask you out; in my days this did not happen for the most part. I met girls later who might have been interested in me, but I was scared that I couldn't do anything at the time. No money and no car is not very impressive. I envied the smart kids, the jocks. All those people that I did not think I could or would be like. I never suspected that I would be a teacher, ass't principal, summer school principal, head of a teacher union, chairperson of a credit union, and school board member and president. The bottom line was I was decidedly immature until I went into the Air Force and grew up. Lest you think that I got nothing out of Cambridge let me share some positive things. Some teachers were very nice to me. Miss Brown complimented me on a new pair of pants which I did not often get, Miss Gallitelli was nice and positive, Miss Weir, my 8th grade math teacher always tried to help me. I shook her off and continued on my path to getting nothing done until she gave me the final test and I got a 95 or so. She felt she had to pass me. I feel badly I did not do better for her because she did her darndest for me. Many teachers were dedicated to all the students. Looking back on the school atmosphere it was a place where you could feel mostly comfortable and I did. Not always and not with the few bullies, but in general a nice place to go from a kid to a semi-adult. It was our second home with a huge family.
Proof reading what I wrote here I realize a few impressions
might be better summarized: probably most kids had issues and I
never realized that I was not the only one, I played with many
kids and had many friends who accepted each other for who we
were, not for what we had. I had a Tom Sawyer existence because
of Cambridge and what could be more enriching. For this I am
most grateful. Most of my schoolmates do not attend for whatever
reason, but I will try to see as many as I can next July
Douglas Bovie,
I am a survivor and I just try to focus on the positives and
currently I am very happy and surround myself with other
happy people. I would not change my growing up and
graduating from CCS for anything. I have done well, and I
am still doing well. I live a lifestyle that very few
people my age can imagine. I live the way I live because I
put myself in an environment to live like this. I am not at
all saddened that some folks did not enjoy/stay more than
five minutes at the reunion. Many other people traveled
distances and enjoyed reunions. Seems like too many people
focus on the negatives. I know we live in a info society.
This is all part of that. Just my thoughts and this is way
more than I like to share!!!
Thank you to all who shared their feelings. I pray that even
though we cannot change the past, we will all endeavor to
improve our present and future by moving forward and not living
in the past.
God bless all of you
Pauline
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